Sassy

Ummmm, So sweet
Bring me to my feet
Shhhhhh, say no more
Let me close the door
Mmmmm, feels so good
Like I knew it would

Mornin'

Sunrise all up in my eyes
Didn’t I just close them?
Toss and turn
Squirm and wiggle
Didn’t sleep not even a little

Shhh

I just want to be heard

DON’T tell me what to do
DON’T say it will be okay

Just listen

Hold me

Hear me

Love me

4 lines

Thinking about something to write, before I turn in for the night
All that comes to mind is you; so fly, so fine, just doing what you do
Your smile warms my soul; your kindness fills my heart, keep on.
You, being you completes me; even if it’s just in my fantasy

Thoughts

The past few weeks have been pretty rough for me, life struggles I guess got the best of me. I feel sometimes I am not as strong as I should be or as strong as people think I am. Most days I hold back many tears, and some days I can’t hold them back at all. Now I know my blessings and I know God has a plan, it is not for me to know what that is just yet, but I will know. I struggle sometimes about what to post on here, don’t want to get to personal yet I want to express what’s inside of me. I have this inside joke with myself that I’m writing a best seller…my life, is going t be my book. My struggles will help another person, give faith and hope to those who may have felt they didn’t have it. (My Best Seller.) Today was pretty good for the most part probably the best day I had next to last Monday when I spent the day with day camp! I did some things around the house I have been to “tired” to do. Not as much As I would like, but more than before. I lost my drive bout a hour ago I don’t know what happened, it’s sad. But I will just focus on what went well, and that was most of the day. So until next time, it is what it is..God will make it better.


MVP

MVP

May not be the best on the team
But I guarantee I’m the MVP
I will be there to see you through
Tell you nothing but TRUTH
will not judge
but I will listen
Give you a nudge
Watch you glisten
TRUE friends are hard to find
I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine
MVP = you and me!

Hot concrete

Bare feet on hot concrete
Where my souls meet the earth
Sometimes it hurts
I walk on
Sometimes its smooth
Stop feel the groove
Bare feet on hot concrete
Feels so good to me

The Storm

The Storm

The storm is comforting as
the wind blows
and loud thunder cracks.
Lightning strikes
Rain crashes against the house
Windows shake
Tree branches sway and
Birds
Birds are silent
I have no fear when a storm is near
I look forward to sound sleep
Rest, good dreams



I began to think

Where is my peace when the storms of my life approach? Why is it hard to snuggle in and enjoy them? Knowing everything will work out in perfect time, His time. I KNOW and BELIEVE this to be true, but my actions say something different. Why can I not line up my actions with what I know? Sometimes I think maybe I really don’t believe, maybe I don’t really have faith. Maybe all those thoughts are from Satan. (I don’t think his name deserves to be capitalized) I believe so! He always is trying to keep people down. I almost made it through this day without crying..in fact I am sure had my babies not been waking me up I would still be sleep and would have not fell into sadness, (and really it didn’t last very long) so maybe I had to write this and it will help somehow.

Stay

Why do you stay in
a unhappy place?
Just to save face,
Or for the kids sake



She don't treat you right,
He stays out all night
Happiness you need
This can't be right



Your hearts desire
Requires you
To be happy



Respected not rejected
Valued, needed
and aappreciated



your worth more


Why stay
what does your heart say?

You deserve happiness
Settle for nothing less

Thoughts

I wonder if I put all my thoughts out on this here blog, and told some shit like it was, what would happen/ would i feel release? would it make me feel ant better to have pt my business in the streets? I don't know. sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone to really talk to. I do have a support system but I really sometimes need to express things that I can't express. I don't even know why I am writing this wack vague post right now, just something to do I guess before I go home. something is physically and maybe mentally wrong with me. Now I'm not crazy or nothing and I am not going to go postal, so don't worry! but I know myself, I know when something is not quite right. I know I have people here to support me and most of all God, all that is not helping right now, this minute. It will pass it always does, the sadness. I justt wonder when it will pass and not return, (I mean besides when I am in heaven with my Father) or at least have a some time in between visits. I am not expecting sympathy or anything, I guess I just need to vent. about nothing and everything, I have said all this, but what have I really said. I'm sad and something is not right with me.

Untitled

I stay in my fantasy because my reality deceives me


Telling me things I can’t be, while making me believe

That I can achieve all things; everything is obtainable, within reach

Yet as I step up and reach for my dreams, the latter is kicked from beneath

I fall, look up for an extended hand reaching down to help me to my feet

All that is there is my fantasy, my reality has left me.

All those dreams and promises made, fade away.

So I have a choice

Do I stay laid out with this ladder by my side and tears in my eyes?

Waiting on the reality that will never be

Or do I turn to my fantasy the only thing that’s never lied to me

Checking You Out

I see you across the room
Try to be sly as I look at you

I'm really digging your white shirt and tie
why must you be so fly?

Your milk chocolate skin so smooth,
Nicely shaven

Something about those
Glasses on your face
make my heart race

so sexy, so smart

I Try to look away,

I bite my bottom lip
knowing I better quit
staring at you.

Why do you make me feel the way I do

Thoughts of the day

Well today was a good day! I felt great about myself, I was looking fly, feeling fly, got a lot of complements. You know as Women we have to look good, and we have to make ourselves feel good.  Not for anyone but US! I get a little irritated when people say "ohhh girl you look good...Who you trying to look good for?" My damn self that's who!! Must it always be about another person?  (Always is a over generalization)... but I go through phases where I wont give a crap what I wear...how I look, and usually it's at points in my life when shit sucks!! so I wont care...Well you know what? parts of life right now really do suck!! and other parts are fantastic!! so I'm not going to let the crap override the fantastic(ness), I will no longer allow situations or people to change ME!! I CAN'T allow it anymore. I am a strong independent Black (Half) Women. and I will keep on, keeping on, and look fly in the process!
To blessed for that mess.

Dance Lesson

Come on, don't be shy
Promise I won't bite

Won't even hold you tight
Give it a try

Dance with me
I will show you

how

to do it right

We're going to have fun
Won't take all night

Ditch your two left feet
Come get with me

I can show u how to move
How to get your groove

Or

You can take the lead

you can
move me
Groove me

Spin me around
Just don't let
Me fall down

Exhale

I can feel his embrace
I've never touched him

I can taste his lips
I've never kissed him

I can smell his scent
He's never been that close

I see him from a distance
Just loving his existence
Close my eyes and visions

The sweet taste of his lips
The strength of his embrace

I inhale
Slowly Exhale

This is my place

Please

Its been a long time since she

pleased a man
Teased a man

Made him feel
Real good
Like only she could

She craves
She hungers

For a taste
Of his

Flesh

Dark
Wet
With
sweat

Pressed
Against
Her breast

Just a bite
Is all she'd like

A little taste

A nibble

A lick

Better get in the shower
Real quick!

Barefoot

Warm sand

Pressing against the souls of her feet

Sinking into the soft earth

She lets her feet marinate for a while

Digging them deeper, until they are covered

She wiggles her toes and giggles

She loves how it feels

Closer to water now

Colder wet sand

She stands

the cool current splashes her feet

Washing the sand away

She walks barefoot

The sky is bright

Clouds are full and snow white

Gaze upon me, my love

Look into my eyes

What do you see?

My soul is white

Like the clouds above

Full of passion

Full of love

Take me away from this place

Wrap me with your embrace

Warm me

Like the sun warms the earth

Fill me,

With you

I have anticipated this day

When you arrive

Don’t look away

Let me look in your eyes

I see you are afraid

There is no need

I’m here my love

I am your everything

Come let’s go

Lets be free

Quicksand

Slowly descending It pulls and tugs
As you squirm and wiggle

You claw at the ground
Trying to escape and
Struggle for survival

This grip is tight
Not letting go
You want to get away

This can’t be right
It this love here to stay?

MISSING

My heart is missing, have you seen it?

I have looked every place!

Oh, there it is

Whew…..

Wait a minute,

How did he get it?

Doesn’t even know he has it

Neither did I

Love, Taken

Her love has been taken, so many times
She longs to give it away
To someone she feels deserving
Of all the love she brings

The thief does not understand
That
When
love
is
Taken

It Is Not His

It is not her genuine love
Each time she is robbed
There is less
Although she longs to give it away
She fears it’s much too late

WOW

What a day, that's about all I have to say. Okay one more thing, I feel I am on a path to healing.
Amen!

My Babies

My babies bring me Joy


They make me smile

They make everything worthwhile

Even when they fight and shout

And think I don't know what I'm

Talking about


They will always be my babies

A Piece of me

A piece of me


Ever since I was little, since I could even remember; I have been very emotional. I would cry over everything. That has been something that has never gone away, and I have hated myself for being that way, since then. To this day I cry way too much (in my opinion) I wish I didn’t have such a raw emotion. I guess God made me this way, but until I know why or see a reason for it I don’t think I can ever accept it. Another thing about me is I have always hated to disappoint people, I wouldn’t say I am a people pleaser, but if someone I care about is mad or disappointed in me I feel like crap. I even hate to disappoint myself and really beat myself up over it. I feel real stupid or something. Wondering why I have done whatever it is I did. I guess I feel like a looser. Again this emotion is taken to the extreme. Most important than ever is disappointing God, now I got saved when I was 12 or something my parents raised me up to fear the Lord, save yourself to you get married (FAIL) you know good moral stuff. I been in and out of this world so many times. I feel like a big disappointment to God. I know all about forgiveness 7x 77 times a day he will forgive you,(something like that) now I don’t think I have that many sins.. :) I kind of feel like the stuff I been through it’s my fault anyway cause I wasn’t doing right, like it is my punishment. I feel it’s what I get, so I have to take it. I am sure another extreme emotion. My point with this writing is my emotions always seem to be too far fetched, I have always thought something was wrong with me emotionally. I don’t know what it is and although I am together for the most part, there is THIS piece of me. I wish wasn’t.

* and you know what other emotion is extreme Love! cause when I love, I love hard and I love real, I mean I could be the ride or die chick, have your back down for what ever type love. (not  a crazy do stupid stuff type love)  once something has been done to counter act that kind of love, and I have given ALL my love, forget about it like a scar it will never be the same.

Thoughts of the day

Today, was a good day, I take that back it was great! I went early this morning and spent some time at the lake on the beach just me, and God.  I walked along barefoot (writing my name in the sand with my feet) enjoying the peace and quite of the waves. A lot of times I go  to the lake to cry out to God for whatever is bothering me, today I said to Him...I am not here to cry; you will work it out.
I am here just to be and Enjoy what you have created. it was nice, (even tho my x husband called me and cussed at me and I almost had to snap on him) but that did not ruin me! I wrote another poem... a little sassy but it's cool! ;)  Work was good, had a good conversation about encouragement.  I feel good right now all smiles...don't feel that to often. I suppose I will go do my homework and probably write a poem or two.

Truth or Dare

Truth is, he has my mind twisted
Thinking of things I wish I didn't

Who am I fooling?

Them thoughts are nice
Got me feeling just right

hope I'm not blushing
feel my blood rushing
Every time he is near

Truth is
its a sensual appeal
They way he makes me feel
Just longing for his touch
I won't ask for much

But

Dare me

Dare me baby and see,
What I'll let you do to me

Dare me
To hold you close
Kiss you were you like it most

Dare me
To just rub your back
Help you chill and relax

Truth or Dare
I'm not scared