My first guest spot on my blog. enjoy this poem written by a good friend, if we encourage and motivate one another and come up with this, we can't fail. :)
Everyone loves the sunshine
Especially after the rain
It takes away the wetness
It takes away the pain
It brings us light in morning
A delight before the moon
Without its eternal presence
All is just dark and gloom
Growth comes because of it
Without it there's no life
It can heat the coldest day
When its in our presence
All fears go away
This is why everybody loves the
sunshine
Where is your light?
The 6th line bothers me. it would be more effective if you said maybe , " A delight before the moon without its eternal pressence". The subject is sunshine, follow me ? Others wise you did very well. Just trying to help, Victoria's Dad and I have been at this for long while. Great read, keep it up...
ReplyDeleteThank you sir! Poem has been revised your input is apprechiated by the Author!
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